2011

The year is almost over. It's been quite a challenging twelve months, but for once, I'm not going to focus on the negative. There's been a whole lot of good happening in my life in 2011, so I'll list them instead:

• I've been able to see Go Radio and Yellowcard live

I've loved these bands since I was a teenager. Their songs have been with me in a very difficult time of my life, and seeing them perform live was one of the best things that have happened to me this year. I even got to talk to Ryan Key (got him to sign my Smartrider) and to take a picture with Jason Lancaster :) It's still all a bit surreal.

• Chlollie is endgame!

Smallville ended after 10 seasons. All my friends know that this TV show's one of my ultimate favourites. The last seasons were nevertheless VERY disappointing. The show destroyed what Clark Kent was supposed to represent. By the end, all he was for me was a giant douche who took all the merit of his friends, who were the real heroes. Anyway, while trying not to stop watching the show, I was shipping Chloe and Oliver (Green Arrow) real hard. Those two blondes were so badass and perfect for each other... And in spite of not being mythos, by the end, Smallville did one thing right. Chlollie ended up together and even had a child! Woohoo!

• I graduated from university

I wasn't too sure about including this in the list. I'm happy to be done with uni, but now I'm experiencing the woes of finding a job in my field. Anyway, I guess it's on the list because I managed to complete my whole academic life without ever failing once! woot, I guess.

• I turned my mother into a Kdrama addict and made my siblings appreciate kpop 

I'm actually quite proud of this! While I was back in Mauritius in August, I kinda forced my mother to watch Secret Garden with me. She loved it so much that she's watched it six times since then lol Then, we had a kdrama marathon when she came to visit me in Australia a few weeks ago. We watched Sungkyunkwan Scandal, Protect The Boss, City Hunter and The Greatest Love, most of which she really loved (she didn't really like the guy from Greatest Love). Making her share my kdrama obsession has kinda made us closer.... I wish we could have started watching dramas together way earlier... Hm, yeah, I also got my sister into kpop! She's now a fan of 2NE1 and of Big Bang, and my brother's got a JYJ song on his phone! Go me for spreading the hallyu wave among my family! :)

• Found back my faith

I actually never stopped believing... but in a way, I guess I was too self-centered and focused on my own problems to really open myself to God. I stopped going to Church a long time ago, and with everything going on in my life, I kinda just stopped talking to Him and recognising His presence in my life. But He's always there, you know. You just have to let Him in. That's what I did. I was bordering depression, thinking about how my life was meaningless and how I would probably be better off dead, when I started going back to Church, all thanks to an amazing friend. And then, everything got better for me. It's like He made me realise that even if I hadn't found it yet, I really had a purpose on this planet. He opened doors I believed were forever closed and gave me back hope. He made me realise that even if I'm often alone, I'm never lonely, because He's always here with me.

• I can stay in Australia!

One of the reasons I was really down this year was because of that stupid IELTS test we have to pass in order to be eligible for a visa allowing us to stay in Australia. I took that test 4 times, and each time, in spite of my awesome results - I got the higest score in 2 of the 4 components and got waaaay above average results in the rest - yeah, in spite of this, it was never enough for me to qualify for that visa cause they recently changed the law and made it super hard. Anyway, I got my visa thanks to my brother who sponsored me! It's not a permanent one, but I'll be able to apply for a permanent one after 2 years. So, I guess I just need a little patience. Bro, if you're reading this, I LOVE YOU! Thank you and I'll be forever grateful to you!! (sis, if you're reading this, don't be jealous, I LOVE YOU!)

• Big Bang won the EMA award against Britney Spears 

It's a bit silly to be happy about that, but they're my favourite Kpop band, and they've suffered a whole lot during 2011. Daesung's accident and GD's scandal made them go on hiatus for a long time and their fans (including myself) voted like crazy to make them appear as 5 in that show. And yeah, our votes didn't go to waste since we also made them win the award. It was so crazy and amazing to see them on that stage, as 5, a smile on Dae's face, accepting the award, and making a speech in Korean. Big Bang was BACK! :)

OK, that's all folks!! It's not much, but that was enough for me to be thankful for in 2011. I hope I have more stuff to be thankful for in 2012!!

Writer's Block

I haven't been able to write anything for quite a long time now. I think I know why I was suddenly hit by this terrible case of writer's block. Writing has always been a way for me to escape from reality, just like reading, listening to music, anime, video games, dramas and tv shows. I've always had a tendency of becoming overly attached and interested in stuff, so as not to really be concerned by the world around me. I kinda loved living lost in my own head and God knows I really needed the distraction, when I was younger... But I guess I finally realised that I'm an adult now, and I know I can't continue to live in that bubble forever. I have responsibilities, I can't continue to treat life as a picture. Time isn't stopping, money isn't growing on trees and I guess that by leaving me, my muses have kinda forced me to try and sort my life out.

This probably makes no sense. Blogging at 2AM is rarely a good idea.

The night I met Jason Lancaster of Go Radio

If you've been on my blog before, you must be aware of my love for Go Radio. I've been a fan ever since I heard their first demo. I added them on MySpace in 2008, made my first ever fanart for them, fangirled when they thrice commented on my MySpace. I was the 4th person to join their fansite when it finally opened, and even created a website about them for a university project.

So, yeah, when I learned about Go Radio coming to Australia in October, I had to get myself a ticket for that music festival (even though it was really, really expensive). Thankfully, they weren't the only bands I liked, playing that night... Yellowcard (:'D), All Time Low, Panic! At The Disco, and a few other well known bands were also there...

The venue was really small, packed and loud. I think we were the only non-Australians in the public. To tell the truth, I don't generally enjoy such overly crowded environments. I don't even enjoy going out to clubs... I'm more of a stay-in person but yeah, it was my only chance of seeing them live.

Anyway, the night didn't start that well. I got there late and missed GR's signing session. I had no idea they were even going to have one. I was VERY disappointed but I was still gonna see them play my favourite songs live... So, I got over my disappointment and tried to enjoy the night.

There were two stages, with two bands playing simultaneously... I got bumped into by the lead singer of I don't even know what band was playing, when he jumped into the crowd. First celebrity encounter, as my brother, who I went to the festival with, called it... I was kinda annoyed, but I guess that fans of that band would have died to be in my situation?

Anyway, I watched a few bands I didn't even know play... Time was flying really slowly when I suddenly noticed that the dashing Alex (from Go Radio) was standing in the crowd, a few metres from me. I couldn't believe my eyes and started doubting whether it was really him. I asked my brother if he could maybe confirm my doubts, but he didn't even know who I was talking about. So, I spent about five minutes just staring at the guy. Seriously.

Then, I decided to just ask him. I gave him a gentle tap on the back and asked him if he was Alex from Go Radio. When he nodded, I asked for a picture with him. He was kind enough to accept. And that's how I got my first picture of the night, which you can see below.

Alex and ME!

Then, later I got to see Steven (Go Radio) in the crowd. He's so, SO fine in person. But unfortunately, I had no one to take a picture for me (my brother was watching the band from the other stage), so yeah, I didn't get to take any picture with him. I also saw Ryan Key (Yellowcard) and Alex Gaskarth (All Time Low) a few seconds later... They both seemed really close. Loved their bromance that night... but yeah, no pictures with them either...

Finally, it was Go Radio's turn to be on stage. I was just in front of the stage. It was totally awesome. I was so close to them. Jason even smiled at me. OMG. I'm still a bit awed, just thinking of it. Yes, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a total fangirl for Go Radio.

A few pictures:

Their set list for the night! yes, they even played Rolling in The Deep by Adele. It was awesome.

Jason Lancaster!

Jason Lancaster

Matt Burns and Steven in the background (that's unfortunately my only pic of Steven)

Alex and Jason (this pic should have been rotated, sorry)

Another pic of Matt

Jason, singing....

I can't even describe how awesome it was to be in that crowd. GR's so passionate, and the public was so into them. It was SO magical to finally be able to be part of that public, to cheer for them and to enjoy their energy, to sing along to their songs. Redemption In The Verse was one of their best songs, that night. By the end of the song, everyone was singing along to the 'la di la da'. It was SO very awesome.

Anyway, then, I got to see All Time Low, Yellowcard, Hellogoodbye, Story Of The Year, etc... Went to the ATL and YC signing sessions... More pictures:

Alex Gaskarth singing Jasey Rae!

My card signed by Yellowcard! lol

My bag signed by All Time Low

I should have brought a CD or a poster, but I hadn't realised I'd have the opportunity to make them sign something. Anyway, I still got to speak to the members of YC (I LOVE RYAN KEY, and just telling him thank you for signing my card and having him telling me thank you for coming was really AWESOME) and got hi-fived by Jack (All Time Low)... It was quite something. Hm, yeah, I don't have any pics of Yellowcard on stage, because I was filming them.

By the end, we went outside, with hopes to see Ryan Key and ask for a picture with him... But, instead of seeing Ryan Key, we saw Jason Lancaster, who was speaking to a fan. I waited for him to be done with the fan before considering asking him for a picture. I asked my brother to go and ask him. He refused, so I had to go and ask him myself. I was really nervous, but Jason was really sweet and accepted to have a picture with me (he had one arm around me, one hand on my shoulder omg), then I took one of him with my brother.

Jason Lancaster and ME!

I wasn't expecting how kind and down to earth he'd be. He thanked us and told us we were awesome for wanting to take a picture with him. I don't think he knows how much of an honour it actually was for us to meet him and to have a picture with him. I've admired him for so long. It was like a dream come true to have met him.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to tell him that. I was a bit too nervous and I'm sure I would have lost my ability to speak properly. My brother did tell him that he's the awesome one though, then we thanked him and left him with other fans.

Then, I got to see Alex Gaskarth, again. He was speaking to a fan, who hadn't been able to attend the festival, on the phone. That was so sweet of him. I waited for him to be done, then asked for a picture with him. He also accepted :)

it's a bit blurry but idc!

And yeah, I didn't stay to watch Panic! They were playing last (or second to last) and I had to go work in the morning. But... yeah, it was still one of the best nights of my life. I finally got to see two of my favourite bands ever.  The night would have been perfect had my sister been with us, though. Meeting Yellowcard and Go Radio by myself seems a bit unfair because she loves them as much as I do. Ah, I just hope one day we can both go to an AVA or a blink-182 concert together.

Just another one of these days....

I've been feeling so hopeless and depressed lately... I don't even know why. It's like having a hollow feeling that nothing can fill. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Praying isn't helping, neither is listening to songs which usually cheer me up (kpop and disney, why aren't you working your usual magic?). Even eating chocolate does nothing to lift my mood.

I hope this feeling passes. I want to be happy, and I want to feel like writing again. This whole depression thing is gnawing away at my recently rediscovered inspiration.

Real life stuff no one cares about...

I don't usually post anything too personal about myself, but I guess no one really reads what I write on here... so, why not?

I've been feeling kind of down lately. It's like I'm in some kind of emotional drought. I long to be more open, to have trust in people, to stop expecting to be disappointed.

The funny thing is that I was starting to get over my issues, when once again, I ended up being deceived by someone.

I'm starting to wonder whether the problem is on my side. Maybe I expect too much from them. Maybe I tend to see friendship when all they see is some kind of nice and naive girl they can -excuse the language- screw with. I don't know. I feel like I'm too young to be so cynical and bitter. But I can't help it.

I'm starting to believe that the only one I can really trust is God (well Him and my family). At least, I know they'll never give up on me.

I'm so sorry but I love you

One of my first posts on this blog, back in 2007, was about the Korean band Dear Cloud. I wasn't really into Korean music at that time. I learned about that particular band because of their music video which featured Kim Jae Wook, a hot Korean actor from an awesome Korean drama I had just watched.

Anyway, I'm talking about this because I just realised that it took me four years to really get into K-pop. Not just songs from Kdramas or songs with hot Korean actors in their MVs. But what's really considered as mainstream K-pop...

So... I guess you're wondering how I finally got into K-pop? Well, it all started thanks to my co-worker, who literally played Wedding Dress by Taeyang on repeat one day...yes, the whole day, when we were at work. I guess I have to thank God it was an awesome song and not something like... I dunno... a trance or heavy metal song.

Anyway, Wedding Dress got stuck in my head (thanks to that part from Wagner's Bridal Chorus) and I had to check the video out when I got back home because my co-worker had claimed that the video was awesome. I was kinda skeptical because I had previously seen some Korean MVs which hadn't left me really impressed. Bien au contraire. (See: Share The One World by DBSK and Ring Ding Dong by SHINee to really get what I mean)

However, he was right about the video being awesome. See for yourself:

After watching the video, my first thought was that Taeyang's like a Korean Usher or a Korean son of Michael Jackson. He sings amazingly well but I was mostly impressed by his moves. That man's got SWAG.

Now, I don't know about you but I've got a real problem with Youtube. I always go there for a video and I end up spending HOURS watching related videos. That's what happened when I watched Wedding Dress. By the end of my Youtube trip, I knew about Taeyang being from BIG BANG... Leading me to learn about G-dragon, T.O.P, Daesung, the maknae Seungri, YG Entertainment and 2NE1. I saw numerous videos of Big Bang, from their MVs to different shows they were on and... well it was impossible not to fall for them their music.

BIG BANG: Seungri, Taeyang, TOP, G-Dragon and Daesung (from left to right)

Yes, Big Bang's a Korean boysband. They don't play instruments... I can't even understand what they're saying. But I love them.

A few reasons why:

1. TOP. That man is gorgeous. His intense stare could impregnate you or turn you gay if you're a guy. LOL. J/K. Truthfully, he's an incredible rapper. He's got an awesome deep voice. His voice isn't typical. He brings something special to their songs.
   
2. G-Dragon. That man is beyond charismatic. No wonder he's the leader. But what's more impressive is that he's only one year older than I am... yet he's the writer/composer of most of their songs. That's kinda inspiring. He also sings, raps and dances incredibly well. He's gifted and it shows in his compositions.
3. The bromance between the members. They seem to genuinely care for each other.
   
4. Their lyrics are quite meaningful. I particularly love Love Song. That song's so deep... Plus it's got a U2 feel to it.
5. Their MVs/live performances aren't the typical 'let's show our abs/let's act cute/let's be sexy' stuff I've come to expect from other Korean bands.
6. They're all individually talented. They've all released solo songs. And I've been totally blown away by their solo awesomeness. Daesung's voice is particularly hmmm... perfect? Seungri might be the youngest but he's got SO much talent. His songs are all terribly catchy. And I've already talked about Taeyang.
   

I've got many more reasons, but I don't want to seem too shallow and fangirlish with this post (I know it's probably too late for that >_<). So I'll end this post here. Just check them out - I've added the links to my fav songs below - if you wanna expand your musical horizons. They're really awesome.

Song suggestions:

• Tonight - BIG BANG
• Haru Haru - BIG BANG
• Lies - BIG BANG
• Love Song - BIG BANG
• What Can I Do - Seungri
• High High - GD&TOP <-- this song reminds me of Satisfaction by Benny Benassi
• I need a girl - Taeyang
• Heartbreaker - G-Dragon
• Baby Don't Cry -Daesung
• Baby Goodnight - GD&TOP
  

Random Post

I've been feeling down lately. I don't really know why. I guess I'm just overwhelmed by what's happening and NOT happening in my life. I have too much on my mind. I haven't even had a restful sleep in weeks.

Fanfiction

I read and write fanfiction. It's something I'm not very proud of, and that I don't tend to advertise too much. I mean, if you go on FFnet, half of what's written is mostly an excuse to make some characters have sex together, and another quarter is so badly written, it'd make you lose some brain cells. However, in the quarter left, while I admit that there's a LOT of clichéd stories, it's impossible not to find a few gems.

Anyway, I came to learn about Fanfiction in 2007, after ending Gundam Seed Destiny and being terribly disappointed with the ASUCAGA(Athrun/Cagalli) ending. I started reading fanfic accidentally, then began writing a few of my own after being encouraged by a fellow ASUCAGA fan. I've written about 5 ASUCAGA stories, one still in progress, two I've never published online, and about 10 Smallville stories.

I tend to read/write fanfics when I'm not satisfied with the media canon. I think Fanfiction is a great way to give us the 'what-if' scenarios the media would never explore and to give us the happy ending denied to us. It's also a great way for aspiring writers to get feedback on their writing. And to meet people who like the same stuff you do :)

What's a pity though, is when other fanfic writers think they know better about certain characters and start saying stuff like "OMG, the character would never do that. Why is he so OOC? Stop writing for my fandom. You're not a true fan."

Hello, it's a fictional character. Everyone's got his own views on him. I don't think it's possible to fully predict the reactions of a fictional character who's already been established in a specific media by SOMEONE ELSE, unless you're that someone else. It therefore really pisses me off when people act as if they know better. Also, my motto on fanfiction is that you don't have to read it if you don't like it. Why suffer through something you don't like to then bitch about it later on?

Aaah, I really don't get it.

Syfy's Alice

I've been wanting to watch this movie for ages and I've finally been able to. It's a modernised adaptation of the classic tale by Lewis Caroll.

I've never liked Alice in Wonderland as a child. The story was just too confusing for my small brain. haha. And while I went to the movies to watch the Tim Burton movie, I mostly did so to see Johnny Depp on big screen. In my opinion, it was just an okay movie.

I really wanted to watch this movie, though. I saw some scenes on youtube and instantly knew I'd have to watch this. The movie didn't disappoint. Not even a little.

Alice was well developed and totally relatable. Hatter wasn't as mad as what I had come to expect with the other versions, but much more lovable. I also really loved Jack - Alice's boyfriend. The other characters were also very well portrayed.

The costumes and the visuals were also amazing. The numerous outdoors shots, the Casino which was basically in form of a tower made of cards, were simply perfect to make us think she really stepped into another world .

And the ending was just beautiful. It made me go all 'aww' even if I kinda expected it.

I'd give it a 4.5/5 if I had to rate it :P